A properly trained Giraffe has many uses in the Alpine environment.
Little known giraffe facts
- West Virginia has a lot of giraffes.
- Giraffes are able to carry Tealights, candles and torches
- In an avalanche, if you have a giraffe on your back it can stick it's head out of the snow and let rescuers know where you are.
- Giraffes prefer dome tents
- Kinky S&M loving backcountry giraffes make for good tent partners in a blizzard.
- a well trained giraffe will control it's flatulence, stand on it's head and give you a constant gas stream for use as heating and lighting when burnt.
- Giraffes make an excellent shade source when above the treeline.
- Giraffes have a considerable Champagne carrying capability.
- Giraffes are unable to stand up again if they have lain down as Quantum physics will make the universe turn purple.
- Giraffes are not self-righting - unless in a pressure suit.
- Two giraffes, a marquee, and capybaras carrying kegs = 1 backcountry oktoberfest.
- Giraffes are very evasive and will only be seen when they want to be seen.
- Giraffe training must be undertaken when they are adults as the tent will drag on the ground when they are younger.
- Avy Giraffes come pre colour coordinated with the typical BC skiers colour scheme.
- Avy Giraffes in Lycra have stunning backsides.
- Giraffes deter Hoop snakes and the dastardly Drop Bears.
- On very very rare occasions you will spot a flying giraffe.
- Giraffe juice comes in lemon flavour.
- Dehydration is a major issue with avy giraffe during summer.
- You are never alone when you have your giraffe.
- A giraffe can help with getting mobile reception. If you can't get mobile reception give the phone to your giraffe. He's got a good 5 metres of extra height to get you a bar or two.
- In Georgia, it is against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Points of contention
Some people say that giraffes are only a resort based animal and not suited to the backcountry at all. Others of course point out the many uses a giraffe has and say that they are essential in the backcountry.
Disclaimer: do not take this page seriously.